Dogs in lap
Short drive to work
Job I absolutely love
Food to eat
Chai tea latte
Man to love who loves back fiercely
Community of believing friends
Justified before God through Christ
I am so blessed.
Writing out today’s blessings makes the sorrow a little less severe. Today I was putting away new client files at work – the very same pregnancy clinic that I came to just a few months ago pregnant for the first time, scared and excited – worried yet hopeful.
Then there it was: the file containing the only earthly documents that my body ever carried life. A thin manila folder with my name typed vertically on the edge of a blue label. I sat on the stool in front of the revolving filing cabinet reading every detail of my file – all the nurse’s notes. The wonderful, kind nurse who saw my ultrasound as inconclusive but tried to explain it away. Too early. Not the right angle. Just come back in a few weeks. I didn’t have to – I knew. Somehow I already knew. Continue reading